There are many things the year of 2020 ushered in and mostly unpleasant for people. For my family, the end of 2020 was stressful with my mom’s minor heart attack on Christmas Eve. To top that, a little more than two months later, she had two seizures that were caused by a benign meningioma in the membrane. Talk about a terrible start to 2021.
And yet...it hasn’t been so terrible. God’s grace has been wonderful, and He has used this to renew us and make us more like His precious Son. One thing I think He’s taught me more than anything is that more than healing, more than health, and more than even the fulfillment of His promises in our lives, is that we simply need Him.
Lately, I’ve just been praying for God to come in. Just himself. I’ve asked Him to come in to our home, our bodies, and every aspect of our lives. I’ve even asked Him to come into my tooth that’s been aching a month or so (I went to the dentist, but she can’t find anything wrong).
I tell you what, when you pray for God to come in, He does. He draws near to those who draw near to Him.
Today, I was reading in Lisa Bevere’s book, Girls With Swords. Such a good book for combating spiritual warfare which is what I feel my family has been facing. Toward the end, there is this story about how she was praying for her father’s salvation. It was really about how only God saves and not we ourselves, but as I was reading, God led my eyes to the words: “If you were to die tonight, where would you go?”
I said, “Well Lord, I believe I’d go to Heaven. You substituted yourself in my place for my sins to take death from me and to give me your righteousness so I can stand before you holy.”
I then felt Him say, “She doesn’t know that.”
Wow. I felt my heart pounding. Lisa’s chapter had really been about rejection and how God shaped David’s character though all the rejection at Saul and Nabal’s hand. I had been thinking about a girl who decidedly rejected me a few years ago and led others to do the same. I was very hurt, and just chose to be silent, not saying mean things about her and resolving not to say anything about the situation to people who knew her, worked with her, or went to church with her. I did speak about it to my parents and two friends who did not know her to try and get some advice and help from them in the situation.
I did everything I possibly knew to do to restore the relationship, but it was like hitting a brick wall.
That said, it has been very hard for me to understand this because I knew she was a Christian and had the respect of a lot of people. She was from a different religious background, though, and did not believe in substitutionary grace.
Wow. When God spoke this to my heart today, I knew exactly what He was doing. He was telling me that she lives every day in fear of whether she is going to hell. No wonder she was all riled up and full of anger.
To not know His grace...
To not have His absolute assurance...
To not know “I shall not die, but live...”
It gave me a compassion for her and an understanding of the situation I didn’t have before. It may never be redeemed, but I can put it at His feet. And I can pray for her to find the same peace and grace I have. In the end, it’s all about Him.
Once Jesus comes in, no one can leave the same. So I pray for Jesus to come into her life and mine. I pray for His redemption, especially in that final day. I pray we both stand before Him someday in the light of His presence and in full assurance of His grace.
That’s what I pray for her, and what I pray for me. Cause in the end, we are both sinners in need of His grace. We are the same before Him, and thank the Lord, His grace is enough.
He is enough. He is the way, the truth, and the life. And we can trust Him to give us the way forward. We can trust Him to redeem all situations and one day heal all wounds. 2020 and 2021 will be years that may not make sense completely, but when He comes in, oh, how glorious even the worst situations and years can be.
I don’t know if you can see the pale, barely visible rainbow in the sky in this photo I attached above. I took it on my way home the other day from one of my mom’s doctor appointments. The rainbow, to me, symbolizes the promises to come. God, I truly believe, has a hope and a future for my mother and for me. The promise isn’t fully visible, but I can just see it...there in the future, waiting for us to fully realize in His perfect day and in His perfect timing. So, I can rest and know that He is advocating for me and for my mother, both for this life and the next. Ultimately, to know we will “live and not die,” can there be any greater joy?
Focus on your salvation this day, and on His wonderful, substitutionary grace. I promise it will lift your hearts, and give 2020 and 2021 a different color. Maybe, for you, it will even look like a pale rainbow, barely hidden, giving promise of the years to come.
