I Will Live

There are many things the year of 2020 ushered in and mostly unpleasant for people. For my family, the end of 2020 was stressful with my mom’s minor heart attack on Christmas Eve. To top that, a little more than two months later, she had two seizures that were caused by a benign meningioma in the membrane. Talk about a terrible start to 2021.

And yet...it hasn’t been so terrible. God’s grace has been wonderful, and He has used this to renew us and make us more like His precious Son. One thing I think He’s taught me more than anything is that more than healing, more than health, and more than even the fulfillment of His promises in our lives, is that we simply need Him.

Lately, I’ve just been praying for God to come in. Just himself. I’ve asked Him to come in to our home, our bodies, and every aspect of our lives. I’ve even asked Him to come into my tooth that’s been aching a month or so (I went to the dentist, but she can’t find anything wrong). 

I tell you what, when you pray for God to come in, He does. He draws near to those who draw near to Him. 

Today, I was reading in Lisa Bevere’s book, Girls With Swords. Such a good book for combating spiritual warfare which is what I feel my family has been facing. Toward the end, there is this story about how she was praying for her father’s salvation. It was really about how only God saves and not we ourselves, but as I was reading, God led my eyes to the words: “If you were to die tonight, where would you go?”

I said, “Well Lord, I believe I’d go to Heaven. You substituted yourself in my place for my sins to take death from me and to give me your righteousness so I can stand before you holy.” 

I then felt Him say, “She doesn’t know that.”

Wow. I felt my heart pounding. Lisa’s chapter had really been about rejection and how God shaped David’s character though all the rejection at Saul and Nabal’s hand. I had been thinking about a girl who decidedly rejected me a few years ago and led others to do the same. I was very hurt, and just chose to be silent, not saying mean things about her and resolving not to say anything about the situation to people who knew her, worked with her, or went to church with her. I did speak about it to my parents and two friends who did not know her to try and get some advice and help from them in the situation. 

I did everything I possibly knew to do to restore the relationship, but it was like hitting a brick wall.

That said, it has been very hard for me to understand this because I knew she was a Christian and had the respect of a lot of people. She was from a different religious background, though, and did not believe in substitutionary grace.

Wow. When God spoke this to my heart today, I knew exactly what He was doing. He was telling me that she lives every day in fear of whether she is going to hell. No wonder she was all riled up and full of anger. 

To not know His grace...

To not have His absolute assurance...

To not know “I shall not die, but live...”

It gave me a compassion for her and an understanding of the situation I didn’t have before. It may never be redeemed, but I can put it at His feet. And I can pray for her to find the same peace and grace I have. In the end, it’s all about Him. 

Once Jesus comes in, no one can leave the same. So I pray for Jesus to come into her life and mine. I pray for His redemption, especially in that final day. I pray we both stand before Him someday in the light of His presence and in full assurance of His grace. 

That’s what I pray for her, and what I pray for me. Cause in the end, we are both sinners in need of His grace. We are the same before Him, and thank the Lord, His grace is enough. 

He is enough. He is the way, the truth, and the life. And we can trust Him to give us the way forward. We can trust Him to redeem all situations and one day heal all wounds. 2020 and 2021 will be years that may not make sense completely, but when He comes in, oh, how glorious even the worst situations and years can be. 

I don’t know if you can see the pale, barely visible rainbow in the sky in this photo I attached above. I took it on my way home the other day from one of my mom’s doctor appointments. The rainbow, to me, symbolizes the promises to come. God, I truly believe, has a hope and a future for my mother and for me. The promise isn’t fully visible, but I can just see it...there in the future, waiting for us to fully realize in His perfect day and in His perfect timing. So, I can rest and know that He is advocating for me and for my mother, both for this life and the next. Ultimately, to know we will “live and not die,” can there be any greater joy? 

Focus on your salvation this day, and on His wonderful, substitutionary grace. I promise it will lift your hearts, and give 2020 and 2021 a different color. Maybe, for you, it will even look like a pale rainbow, barely hidden, giving promise of the years to come. 

Perfected in Discipline

Ooh, I really don't want to talk about perfection. And being disciplined. I have a really hard time with the verse, "Be perfect as your Father is perfect." After all, if our righteousness is as filthy rags, how is it possible to even reach perfection?

It's not.

But that doesn't mean that we don't try.

Every moment, every hour, every time we speak or think, we should be representatives of Christ. We are "mini-Christs" so to speak. And if that is true, I ask you, are you making a very good likeness?

I know that I don't always. But I do try.

But maybe it is time to try harder. After all, I feel like we live in a world where we are constantly being told to be like the world. I think it has infected the Christian church, maybe like never before. I mean, look at us. Look at the divorces, and the drugs, and the pornography addictions. And as Americans, many of us have such luxury and freedom that these "worldly habits" become something that don't always affect us that much in real life. The alter is always open and often the same people make the same trips down.

I'm not saying that's a bad thing. Repentance is always wonderful and it is always good to get right with God. But why doesn't it stick? Why don't we stick to our resolve?

Because we are human. And yeah, that's all fine and good. It is true and God's mercies are new every morning. Thank goodness for us. Because if I was God, I would have lost patience by now, right?

Anyway, all this to say, I don't make New Years resolutions. But I am going to try to read my Bible through in a year this year. And I am going to try to pray without ceasing. And I am going to try to love even my enemies.

Because, if we believe what we say we do, that Christ has come down to earth to redeem the world and that it is He alone that saves, then we better get to doing our job, people. God says that His grace is sufficient. And that He always gives us a way out of temptation.

So let's depend on that grace a little more. And let's look for the ways out with a little more diligence.

And maybe then this world will change. And maybe people will find Jesus. And the love and honor and beauty that we are all missing in this world (and even in ourselves) will return to us.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord. And He will lift you up. Higher and Higher. And He will lift you up.

Truth & Consequences...and Righting Wrongs.

Truth will out.

That has been on my mind for days now. But it seems like people don't care about the truth anymore. Or doing what is right. Or checking their facts before spreading falsehood. Or basically doing anything remotely close to being a decent, honest, upstanding human being.

Who do you trust in this world of fakes? Wolves in sheep's clothing seem to be around every corner now and there is no way to know if you can even trust the most respectable people you know. Think about all these sex scandals, and agenda-driven destroying of other people, and just lack of compassion and love in general?

Since when did it go out of style to forgive someone, or admit when you are sorry, or give someone the benefit of the doubt? Since when did "love wins" turn into "I will hate you and destroy you until I get my agenda no matter how that affects the freedom of mankind and your conscience." Since when did people stop "putting themselves in each other's shoes" as Atticus Finch counsels Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird?

Nope. That's off limits now. Now, it is almost like we are back to "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." And the ego and the selfishness of the people involved will not let them admit to even themselves that they are wrong.

And I am disappointed. And disgusted. And trying to figure out when to stay silent and when to speak out. And finally figuring out that...

...it is all meaningless. Really, Ecclesiastes is right on so many levels. All this backbiting and fighting...all this hatred in a world that God designed so beautifully for us pales in comparison to that Love that descended on a silent night over 2,000 years ago. He came to restore everything. He came to redeem.

He came to cover all those sins. And make even the worst human righteous in God's eyes by being covered by His blood and righteousness. And all of a sudden, life makes sense again. And the hazy picture comes together in HD definition.

It is all about Him. And His glory. And the redemption of all of the people He loves.

And that means everyone. Your friend. Your brother. Your enemy.

He came to this earth and died to save them all.

But there are consequences...on this Earth if not after. And especially if we do not find Him our Savior. We are accountable for every word we speak. So think about that. And speak only what He would have you say. If you honor Him at all. If you have any respect for the One who came to bring you and the rest of this world Peace on Earth and Goodwill to Men.

Maybe we should spread a little of that instead of more division and strife. I think, on that at least, we can all be in accord.

True Friends Watch Their Mouths

 

You know what’s funny? In a not so funny way? I woke up this morning thinking that I had changed. And not in a good way. I have grown lax lately in watching over what I say, especially about other people. And not like any of it has been atrocious. But even the slightest thing can be hurtful to that person’s image in other people’s eyes. And it may get back to them. Sometimes the things we hear through other people sticks with us….

..like 13 years later. I can still remember walking out of my tennis final my sophomore year, feeling fresh and happy, glad to be almost done with another semester. And then my friend, a guy I wasn’t that close to but had been getting to know, rushed out of the final (we had been in the class together) and ran up to me to let me know that our tennis coach had looked up at the class after I left and said, “I hate pretty girls that only want to get an A.”

Ouch. Like really. Not that I had been friends with this coach, but I had looked up to him. I had tried—really hard—that semester to do well in that class. For one thing, I liked tennis and wanted to be better playing it. The truth hurts sometimes—and the truth is, I am just not good at tennis. But man, I gave my all! And I even showed up for all the extra credit I could. But I still was wobbling between a B+ and an A in that class. So I asked. Asked what I could do to improve my grade.

Um…I thought that was a good thing. A student wanting to improve herself and do better. But no. Apparently to him, I was just asking for an A and just wanting for him to give it to me or something.

In that moment, I felt like it was a bit tragic. And I realized that not everyone is for you. And that no matter how hard you try or how pure your motives are, some people are just not going to respect that. In fact, some people are going to judge you based on a “pretty” face and nothing else.

Sad Day. Reality Check. However you want to say it, I think that was when I realized how the world really works. And I realized that sexism still existed. And that some people must just have really ugly things in their hearts if they could look at me and instead of seeing someone that would forgive and pray for him, someone that gave their all to their studies and tried to be the best at everything they did “as unto the Lord,” he just saw a “pretty face” and found some sort of sick pleasure in, not only loathing me, but humiliating me in front of my whole tennis class including this boy that I was friends with.

The good thing is I was a much better person back then so instead of marching back in and confronting him in front of the class, I resolved to forgive him and pray for him. And for his wife. Because if he felt that way about me and had such disregard for me, not only as a female but just as a person, I couldn’t imagine what kind of baggage he was bringing into the lives of other people, especially the women in his life, including the one to whom he was married.

At the age I am now, I think confrontation can sometimes be a good thing. And I almost resolved today to write him a letter and remind him of that—and how wrong it was—and ask him not to do that anymore to other young impressionable women. Women who need to be encouraged and helped along the way toward adulthood. Women that need a few more heroes and a few less creeps in their lives. Women that want to respect men but have a hard time after hearing things like that.

Women that are human. And have feelings. And motivations. And ambitions.

And we are all more susceptible to being affected by what others say than we think we are. I wonder, even though I felt like I moved on from that moment the right way, how those comments have affected my confidence in certain situations or affected my perception of men in work situations.

I wonder also how those comments affected that guy friend of mine. Even though he obviously did not agree with what the instructor did and said, was his perception of me changed? After that, our friendship grew to a distant memory. That might have been a natural progression. I haven't thought much about it, but I wonder. Sometimes the subtle way a person’s mind is affected can make a huge difference in their behavior.

And so, thinking of this, and also of a friendship that died because I knew that the person had talked badly about me with common acquaintances, I realized how even the strongest of friendships can grow fragile by a wrongly spoken word. And how careful we must be to protect others, even those we don’t like, from unfair criticism.

Everyone deserves a chance. Everyone should be able to present themselves to others, and perhaps even change for the better, on their own merit (or lack thereof) and not based on others' opinions.

So, after preaching to myself, I leave with this imperative. Let’s all be more aware of what we are saying and how those words might affect the other person if they heard them. Would you say whatever you are saying to their face? If not, better to lean toward keeping our mouths shut and leaving that person, and others’ opinions of them, up to God.

 

Here is a long list of verses I found on the internet that talk about our words:

 

Proverbs 18:21 ESV /

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV /    

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 12:18 ESV /    

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Matthew 12:36 ESV /    

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Proverbs 16:24 ESV /   

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 15:1 ESV /   

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Matthew 15:18 ESV /

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

Proverbs 21:23 ESV /   

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Hebrews 4:12 ESV /    

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Proverbs 13:3 ESV /   

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

Psalm 19:14 ESV /    

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Matthew 12:37 ESV /    

For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

James 1:26 ESV /   

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

Colossians 3:8 ESV /    

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.     

Proverbs 15:4 ESV /    

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Luke 6:45 ESV /    

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.     

Colossians 4:6 ESV /    

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.        

Proverbs 29:20 ESV /    

Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.     

Proverbs 25:11 ESV /    

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

Proverbs 10:19 ESV /    

When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Matthew 12:34 ESV /    

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.     

Romans 12:14 ESV /    

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 

Proverbs 11:12 ESV /

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.

Proverbs 18:13 ESV /   

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.                   

Proverbs 15:2 ESV /    

The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.

Proverbs 17:9 ESV /    

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.       

Psalm 141:3 ESV /    

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!      

Proverbs 27:2 ESV /    

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.              

James 3:5 ESV /

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!            

Ephesians 4:25 ESV /    

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.            

Proverbs 18:8 ESV /    

The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.        

Proverbs 12:25 ESV /

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.      

Proverbs 6:2 ESV /    

If you are snared in the words of your mouth, caught in the words of your mouth,     

Proverbs 17:28 ESV /    

Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

Proverbs 17:27 ESV /    

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.

John 8:32 ESV / 

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Proverbs 16:23-24 ESV /    

The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.